Goal setting is such an important skill for kids to master. I’m sure you know what it feels like to set a goal and achieve it. It’s amazing! We all want our kids to experience that same feeling.
Katie Hurley, author of The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World says goal setting, “helps kids build resilience and cope with setbacks. Goal setting = face failure and figure out what to change.”
Kids learn best by doing, and they really respond when what they’re learning is taught in an interesting way. Teaching children about goal setting is no different. It needs to be fun or they’ll quit before they have the chance to know what it feels like to succeed. In this post I’m going to give you some solid advice & some fun ways to help your kids do just that – succeed!
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Explain Goal Setting To Your Kids
Start by describing what goals are in a way that makes sense to them. Talk about how great it is to have wishes, but that wishes don’t make things happen. Wishes come true when people plan out the steps they need to take in order to make them happen—sort of like a map.
Give them a real life example of how setting goals could lead to getting something they really want.
They may wish they could go to Disney World, for example. But to make that wish come true, your family has to save money, plan a time to go, decide whether to fly or drive, pack suitcases and lots more. Sitting on the sofa and just wishing won’t make it happen.
Have a conversation about goals they’ve already achieved. Have they saved their money to buy a game? Have they practiced a sport to become better? Have they learned to spell their name, tie their shoes, or read a book?
Talk with them about how reaching those goals made them feel, and all the little things they did to get there.
Start Small
Dr. Michele Borga, educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor, and author of 22 books, says the first goal setting task should be something your child can achieve in less than a week. Brushing teeth every night without reminders, or reading a page a night are examples she shares of great short-term goals.
Once they’ve done what they set out to do you can help them create increasingly bigger goals.
Ask the Right Questions
Asking a child what goal they want to set doesn’t work well. Instead ask what they wish they could learn or do or have. What do they want to happen?
Guide them by keeping their expectations reasonable. If your first-grader wants to be a pro football player, you’ll need to help them scale that dream down a bit for now. Maybe instead their goal could be to learn at least one hand signal referees use in a game.
Make sure their goals are actionable. They’ll probably mention things like how they want to be nicer, or keep their room clean. Help them break down those ideas into goals they can realistically achieve by asking good questions.
Why do you want this? How will it make you feel if you do it? How will it make other people feel? What might make it hard to do? What are some choices you could make every day that would help you succeed?
And finally, ask them to talk about 3 or more things they like about themselves. It’s important to reinforce their good qualities so they understand they are capable of making their wishes come true.
Make Goal Setting Super Fun
You definitely want to write down their goals and find a way to help them keep track of their progress every day. But just writing them down and making a checkmark is no fun! Here are some ideas you can try that will help motivate kids and keep them engaged and interested.
Fill Up a Jar
Get a big glass jar and each day that your kiddo completes a step toward their goal, they get to drop something small in the jar.
They’ll watch it fill up and get excited to keep going. (Never take anything out of the jar if they miss a day. The goal is to reinforce good choices, not punish.) At the end of each week they get to keep everything in the jar, or they can cash them in for a small prize.
Here are some things they can put in the jar:
Jelly Beans
Smooth pebbles
Checkers
Marbles
Small toys (like Army men, toy cars, rubber balls, pencil erasers)
Pieces of wrapped candy
Packages of fruit snacks
The Key to a Treasure Chest
Every day a step is taken toward meeting their goal, they earn one ticket. Once they’ve reached 7 tickets, they can cash them in for a “key” to open a treasure chest that contains little candies or toys or movie passes, etc.
They can only take one thing, but when they get a peek at all the other things in the chest, they’ll work hard next week for another chance to choose.
Get the Whole Family Involved
It’ll be much more fun if everyone is working on goals and cheering each other on. To reward the entire family for a week well done, plan a family game night, or a trip to the movies, or even a breakfast for supper night. Anything that feels like a little celebration is perfect.
Turn on Games Setting for Goals
Games are the best! They make everything more fun. If your kiddo is tech savvy, and what kid isn’t these days, there is an app called Goalup that’s super interesting. Your kids will FLIP for it!
You as the parent will set up the app and decide what each goal is worth in points. Parents are totally in charge, but kids are empowered to choose the things they are working for. (The prizes can be small things like eBooks and bigger things like scooters.)
Kids can spend their points at any time, or they can save up for bigger ticket items.
Of course parents have to pay for the points, which in turn pays for the rewards. But the really cool thing is that grandparents, friends, or anyone who wants to cheer your child on can log on and buy points.
Some Helpful Goal Setting Freebies
Here’s a list of free printables that will help you get started right away. All you need is a printer.
Simple Everyday Mom – Punch card Printable
Proud To Be Primary – Stars & Wishes Printable
iMom – Progress Roadmap
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Looking to get organized for back-to-school? See back-to-school organization tips and hacks for families.
Encourage, Encourage, Encourage
In the end, even more than the prizes or games, your kids want to know how proud you are of what they’re doing. Every day ask them how they think they did, and praise them.
Be super specific in your choice of words. Rather than “good job,” you might compliment them on the way they held their shoestrings when they were working on tying shoes, for example.
If they get stuck and aren’t moving forward, use it as an opportunity to help them figure out additional steps they can take to get there. Ask what you can do to help.
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Wishing Everyone a Healthy and Blessed New School Year!
