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The Best Father’s Day Gift: How Dads Can Get Their Kids to Focus {Guest Post by Dr. @Jason_Selk}

in families, holidays, parenting on 06/17/12

The following is a guest Father’s Day post by Dr. Jason Selk, the Director of Mental Training for the St Louis Cardinals.  Jason Selk, Ed.D., trains companies and organizations – including the world’s finest athletes, coaches, and business leaders – on how to achieve optimal performance. He’s the bestselling author of 10-Minute Toughness (McGraw-Hill, 2008) and Executive Toughness (McGraw-Hill, 2011). He’s a regular television and radio contributor to ABC, CBS, ESPN, and NBC. He’s also been featured in USA Today, Men’s Health, Muscle and Fitness, Shape and Self. Check out his website at www.enhancedperformanceinc.com.  Follow Dr. Jason Selk on Twitter at Jason_Selk.

What father doesn’t want his offspring to develop the right kinds of skills so that one day they’ll rise to the top of whatever profession or field they choose? The good news is, with the right training, there’s one key talent that just about every child can master. And it just happens to be the one that highly successful people can call up at any given moment. It’s called focus.
Okay, I imagine that right now most dads reading this piece of advice are rolling their eyes. Kids are already overscheduled and parents are competing with play dates, the internet and digital toys for quality time. How will they squeeze it in?
But focus exercises are something you can do during any spare moments you have, such as when you’re all on the way to playing sports. And tying these mental exercises into this summer’s London Olympics is a perfect way to reinforce how focus can help generate great performances in the spotlight. That’s because many Olympic athletes use these same methods to mentally prepare for their events.  Here’s why being able to focus at will is so important.
Focus helps counteract pressure.
When children aren’t athletic stars, they’re more likely to play simply for fun or the for the experience of being on a team. These are valuable reasons in and of themselves. However, once children have gotten some accolades about their playing ability, or may have won trophies, suddenly all eyes are on them. There’s more pressure. The coach and weaker members of the team are now counting on the better players.
It pays to remember that Olympians who’ve previously won a medal or two face way more pressure in their future competitions. The competing players want to go after the ones who’ve been victorious. And suddenly medal winners can’t rest on their laurels because they have new expectations to live up to.
Here are two quick exercises to help your children concentrate better. They take such little time that you can easily fit them in prior to sports practice.
The 100-second mental workout.
1. Center your breath. Breathe in for six counts, hold for two, and exhale for seven. An elevated heart rate, which goes hand-in-hand with pressure, results in the mind working less than optimally. This breath work slows down the heart rate, which counters the pressure.
2. Create an identity statement. Even youngsters can come up with meaningful ones, such as “I’m the best hardest worker on our team,” or “I’m always successful at blocking soccer goals.”
3. Create a personal highlight reel. This exercise involves just 60 seconds of visualization. First focus on three things done well within the past 24 hours, such as completing homework in a timely manner or making a solid play on the field. Then focus on three things you plan to do well within the next 24 hours. That’s only 10 seconds apiece.
4. Repeat step 2.
5. Repeat step 1.
These 100 seconds are a superb way to help your children decrease pressure and mentally prepare for their games through better focus.
Begin to define your success with the process, not the result.
           
Think about a baseball player in the batter’s box. If all he’s thinking about is, “I gotta get a hit,” he won’t. It’s what’s called the “paradox of the product goal.” What the batter needs to think about are the actions that will get him a hit – tracking the ball, the short swing and the follow-through.
What increases achievement is focusing on the two or three tasks. This can help kids arrive at their goal. Science tells us that focusing on process is what brings results. Here’s another example tied to academic work. Instead of your children’s focusing on getting an A grade, have them focus on reading each question twice, answering all the questions, and reviewing all their answers. For best results, help your children tailor the tasks to their specific needs.
These strategies work for any child with a goal, be is sports or studies. When it comes to achievement, we’re all “players” in our own stadiums, whether it’s an Olympics year or not.
Thank you to all the wonderful Fathers, like my own Daddy and Husband, for all their hard work, support, love, and dedication to their families.
 

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Comments

  1. @MamiRosado says

    June 17, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    Great tips! Happy Father’s Day!

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The holidays can be beautiful… but for many grieving parents — especially special needs parents — this season hurts in ways most people never see.

Between disrupted routines, sensory overload, and the ache of missing someone you love, December can feel overwhelming. And here’s what most don’t realize:

Nearly HALF of Christians stop attending church after losing a loved one… not because they’ve lost their faith, but because they feel the church doesn’t know how to walk with them through grief.
These families aren’t leaving God —
they’re leaving because they feel unseen in their pain.

As someone who advocates for families of ALL abilities, I’m sharing a new blog post today on how we can support grieving loved ones — especially special needs parents — with compassion, faith, and presence this holiday season.

If someone in your life is grieving, please don’t stay silent.
Say their loved one’s name.
Offer specific help.
Create space for their emotions.
Pray with them.
Walk with them — gently, consistently, faithfully.

Because no parent should have to grieve alone during the holidays.

Read the full post here:
joscelynramoscampbell.com

If this message speaks to you, share it so others know:
We CAN do better. We MUST do better.
#GriefSupport
#HolidayGrief
#SpecialNeedsParents
#DisabilityAdvocacy
#CaregiverSupport

The holidays can be beautiful… but for many grieving parents — especially special needs parents — this season hurts in ways most people never see.

Between disrupted routines, sensory overload, and the ache of missing someone you love, December can feel overwhelming. And here’s what most don’t realize:

Nearly HALF of Christians stop attending church after losing a loved one… not because they’ve lost their faith, but because they feel the church doesn’t know how to walk with them through grief.
These families aren’t leaving God —
they’re leaving because they feel unseen in their pain.

As someone who advocates for families of ALL abilities, I’m sharing a new blog post today on how we can support grieving loved ones — especially special needs parents — with compassion, faith, and presence this holiday season.

If someone in your life is grieving, please don’t stay silent.
Say their loved one’s name.
Offer specific help.
Create space for their emotions.
Pray with them.
Walk with them — gently, consistently, faithfully.

Because no parent should have to grieve alone during the holidays.

Read the full post here:
joscelynramoscampbell.com

If this message speaks to you, share it so others know:
We CAN do better. We MUST do better.
#GriefSupport
#HolidayGrief
#SpecialNeedsParents
#DisabilityAdvocacy
#CaregiverSupport
...

61 0

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Dec 7

Open post by drjoscelynramoscampbell with ID 17916214557232682
🏆 Earlier this week, I was once again filled with thankfulness, love, and faith. 
🏆 I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to Home Health Care USA for naming me the “Latina American Caregiver of the Year!” 
🏆 Caregivers are among the unsung heroes in our society, and there are many different types of caregivers. For instance, the “Sandwich Generation” refers to individuals who are caring for both their aging parents and their children simultaneously. These caregivers often provide physical, emotional, and financial support. More than 50% of Americans in their 40s and 50s are currently caring for both their children and their senior parents—and usually without any help from extended family. 
🏆 Some caregivers dedicate their entire lives to caring for a child—or children—with disabilities into adulthood. Unfortunately, many caregiving parents or family members do not get a break or have quality time for themselves. About 50% of couples with special needs or neurodiverse children end up getting divorced. 
🏆 Having experienced both of these caregiving situations and still living within them, being named “Latina American Caregiver of the Year” means more to me than just an award. It symbolizes the millions of unpaid caretakers across the country who provide loving, effective care for family members or friends. 
🏆 I also want to extend my gratitude to all those who have followed my caregiving journey the past 17 years, including my care for my beloved late parents and my superhero, Joshua, on my social channels, Mami of Multiples, and Dr. Joscelyn Ramos Campbell. The BEST is yet to come! 🙌 
🌎 Lastly, congratulations to all my fellow winners standing on stage. Your work in your communities helps make the world a better place! 
#Caregivers #Latina #LatinaAmerican #CaregiveroftheYear #AwardWinning

🏆 Earlier this week, I was once again filled with thankfulness, love, and faith.
🏆 I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to Home Health Care USA for naming me the “Latina American Caregiver of the Year!”
🏆 Caregivers are among the unsung heroes in our society, and there are many different types of caregivers. For instance, the “Sandwich Generation” refers to individuals who are caring for both their aging parents and their children simultaneously. These caregivers often provide physical, emotional, and financial support. More than 50% of Americans in their 40s and 50s are currently caring for both their children and their senior parents—and usually without any help from extended family.
🏆 Some caregivers dedicate their entire lives to caring for a child—or children—with disabilities into adulthood. Unfortunately, many caregiving parents or family members do not get a break or have quality time for themselves. About 50% of couples with special needs or neurodiverse children end up getting divorced.
🏆 Having experienced both of these caregiving situations and still living within them, being named “Latina American Caregiver of the Year” means more to me than just an award. It symbolizes the millions of unpaid caretakers across the country who provide loving, effective care for family members or friends.
🏆 I also want to extend my gratitude to all those who have followed my caregiving journey the past 17 years, including my care for my beloved late parents and my superhero, Joshua, on my social channels, Mami of Multiples, and Dr. Joscelyn Ramos Campbell. The BEST is yet to come! 🙌
🌎 Lastly, congratulations to all my fellow winners standing on stage. Your work in your communities helps make the world a better place!
#Caregivers #Latina #LatinaAmerican #CaregiveroftheYear #AwardWinning
...

81 5

drjoscelynramoscampbell

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Nov 30

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From over 17 years ago, when we were among the first #Latina #bloggers in the U.S., to @ChicasChatting to raising homes with children of different neurodiversities, this was a glorious Sunday indeed to see my OG sis & bestie, @mami2mommy, in my city with her beautiful family! ♥️
#movehere #dontmakeme #startpraying 😂 #specialneedsparenting #autism #highschoolseniors

From over 17 years ago, when we were among the first #Latina #bloggers in the U.S., to @ChicasChatting to raising homes with children of different neurodiversities, this was a glorious Sunday indeed to see my OG sis & bestie, @mami2mommy, in my city with her beautiful family! ♥️
#movehere #dontmakeme #startpraying 😂 #specialneedsparenting #autism #highschoolseniors
...

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Nov 27

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👰🏻‍♀️🤵‍♂️ 20 years.
The week of Thanksgiving is always special for us, not only because we celebrate Thanksgiving, but also because we are celebrating the twins’ birthday and our wedding anniversary. Life is a blessed adventure, and looking back helps us appreciate it even more. We feel grateful for the immeasurable love, faith, and gratitude that have been constant throughout the years, both past and future. Happy Anniversary to us! 💍💒♥️

#HappyAnniversary #JandJ #TheJFamily #TheStoryContinues #HappyThanksgiving 🦃🍽️🍂

👰🏻‍♀️🤵‍♂️ 20 years.
The week of Thanksgiving is always special for us, not only because we celebrate Thanksgiving, but also because we are celebrating the twins’ birthday and our wedding anniversary. Life is a blessed adventure, and looking back helps us appreciate it even more. We feel grateful for the immeasurable love, faith, and gratitude that have been constant throughout the years, both past and future. Happy Anniversary to us! 💍💒♥️

#HappyAnniversary #JandJ #TheJFamily #TheStoryContinues #HappyThanksgiving 🦃🍽️🍂
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drjoscelynramoscampbell

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Nov 22

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🥳🥳 Happy 18th Birthday to our #BirthdayTwins! 
🥳🥳 Eighteen years ago, our family received a true “2 for 1” special with the birth of our identical twins on Thanksgiving Day. 
🥳🥳 They were born on a day dedicated to gratitude, and every day since, we have been thankful for the joy, happiness, adventure, laughter, faith, and love they have brought into our lives. 
🥳🥳 We are so blessed to have them in our lives and look forward to all that God has in store for them in the future. We love you, Dynamic Duo!♥️
#HappyBirthdayJonathan
#HappyBirthdayJeremy
#HappyBirthdayTwins
#ThanksgivingDayTwins

🥳🥳 Happy 18th Birthday to our #BirthdayTwins!
🥳🥳 Eighteen years ago, our family received a true “2 for 1” special with the birth of our identical twins on Thanksgiving Day.
🥳🥳 They were born on a day dedicated to gratitude, and every day since, we have been thankful for the joy, happiness, adventure, laughter, faith, and love they have brought into our lives.
🥳🥳 We are so blessed to have them in our lives and look forward to all that God has in store for them in the future. We love you, Dynamic Duo!♥️
#HappyBirthdayJonathan
#HappyBirthdayJeremy
#HappyBirthdayTwins
#ThanksgivingDayTwins
...

119 6

drjoscelynramoscampbell

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Nov 12

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🏢 Setting: Joshua meeting his new Occupational Therapist (OT). Pictures are worth a thousand words. As a fluent interpreter of all things Joshua 📷  snapshots #1-4 are an interpretation of some of his classic facial narratives. 

📷 #1 “OK, Ms. New OT Lady, nice drawing of a bunny but I got real bunny action going on in my backyard! Saw a big fluffy gray & white bunny hopping around all day. You just had to be there!”🐰 

📷 #2 “What do you mean I press the button and all bubbles come shooting out real fast? This is AWESOME!” 🫧

📷 #3 “That is what I was saying too! If everybody can eat snacks during therapy, we would all get along so much better.” 🍩🍟🍌🍪

📷 #4 “We’re holding hands now…it’s about to be Jesus time!” 🙏

🏢 Setting: 📷  Snapshots #5-8 are with his regular Speech Therapist (ST). 

📷 #5 “Uh..what’s up with this turkey?” 🦃

📷 #6 “Oh, you need MY help so YOU can finish this turkey. Even though it somehow says Joshua on the turkey, I know it’s really your work.”🍗

📷 #7 “Aren’t you glad I came in today to help you, Ms. Speech Therapist? What are friends for?” 🍂

📷 #8 “Yes, I’m wearing one of my older twin brothers’ @hopepreparatoryacademy jackets. It is nice that Mommy & my brothers are the community leaders, but truth be told, everybody really knows ME! 😁 (Jeremiah 29:11)
#TeamJoshua #JoshuasAngels

🏢 Setting: Joshua meeting his new Occupational Therapist (OT). Pictures are worth a thousand words. As a fluent interpreter of all things Joshua 📷 snapshots #1-4 are an interpretation of some of his classic facial narratives.

📷 #1 “OK, Ms. New OT Lady, nice drawing of a bunny but I got real bunny action going on in my backyard! Saw a big fluffy gray & white bunny hopping around all day. You just had to be there!”🐰

📷 #2 “What do you mean I press the button and all bubbles come shooting out real fast? This is AWESOME!” 🫧

📷 #3 “That is what I was saying too! If everybody can eat snacks during therapy, we would all get along so much better.” 🍩🍟🍌🍪

📷 #4 “We’re holding hands now…it’s about to be Jesus time!” 🙏

🏢 Setting: 📷 Snapshots #5-8 are with his regular Speech Therapist (ST).

📷 #5 “Uh..what’s up with this turkey?” 🦃

📷 #6 “Oh, you need MY help so YOU can finish this turkey. Even though it somehow says Joshua on the turkey, I know it’s really your work.”🍗

📷 #7 “Aren’t you glad I came in today to help you, Ms. Speech Therapist? What are friends for?” 🍂

📷 #8 “Yes, I’m wearing one of my older twin brothers’ @hopepreparatoryacademy jackets. It is nice that Mommy & my brothers are the community leaders, but truth be told, everybody really knows ME! 😁 (Jeremiah 29:11)
#TeamJoshua #JoshuasAngels
...

73 6
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