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The Best Father’s Day Gift: How Dads Can Get Their Kids to Focus {Guest Post by Dr. @Jason_Selk}

in families, holidays, parenting on 06/17/12

The following is a guest Father’s Day post by Dr. Jason Selk, the Director of Mental Training for the St Louis Cardinals.  Jason Selk, Ed.D., trains companies and organizations – including the world’s finest athletes, coaches, and business leaders – on how to achieve optimal performance. He’s the bestselling author of 10-Minute Toughness (McGraw-Hill, 2008) and Executive Toughness (McGraw-Hill, 2011). He’s a regular television and radio contributor to ABC, CBS, ESPN, and NBC. He’s also been featured in USA Today, Men’s Health, Muscle and Fitness, Shape and Self. Check out his website at www.enhancedperformanceinc.com.  Follow Dr. Jason Selk on Twitter at Jason_Selk.

What father doesn’t want his offspring to develop the right kinds of skills so that one day they’ll rise to the top of whatever profession or field they choose? The good news is, with the right training, there’s one key talent that just about every child can master. And it just happens to be the one that highly successful people can call up at any given moment. It’s called focus.
Okay, I imagine that right now most dads reading this piece of advice are rolling their eyes. Kids are already overscheduled and parents are competing with play dates, the internet and digital toys for quality time. How will they squeeze it in?
But focus exercises are something you can do during any spare moments you have, such as when you’re all on the way to playing sports. And tying these mental exercises into this summer’s London Olympics is a perfect way to reinforce how focus can help generate great performances in the spotlight. That’s because many Olympic athletes use these same methods to mentally prepare for their events.  Here’s why being able to focus at will is so important.
Focus helps counteract pressure.
When children aren’t athletic stars, they’re more likely to play simply for fun or the for the experience of being on a team. These are valuable reasons in and of themselves. However, once children have gotten some accolades about their playing ability, or may have won trophies, suddenly all eyes are on them. There’s more pressure. The coach and weaker members of the team are now counting on the better players.
It pays to remember that Olympians who’ve previously won a medal or two face way more pressure in their future competitions. The competing players want to go after the ones who’ve been victorious. And suddenly medal winners can’t rest on their laurels because they have new expectations to live up to.
Here are two quick exercises to help your children concentrate better. They take such little time that you can easily fit them in prior to sports practice.
The 100-second mental workout.
1. Center your breath. Breathe in for six counts, hold for two, and exhale for seven. An elevated heart rate, which goes hand-in-hand with pressure, results in the mind working less than optimally. This breath work slows down the heart rate, which counters the pressure.
2. Create an identity statement. Even youngsters can come up with meaningful ones, such as “I’m the best hardest worker on our team,” or “I’m always successful at blocking soccer goals.”
3. Create a personal highlight reel. This exercise involves just 60 seconds of visualization. First focus on three things done well within the past 24 hours, such as completing homework in a timely manner or making a solid play on the field. Then focus on three things you plan to do well within the next 24 hours. That’s only 10 seconds apiece.
4. Repeat step 2.
5. Repeat step 1.
These 100 seconds are a superb way to help your children decrease pressure and mentally prepare for their games through better focus.
Begin to define your success with the process, not the result.
           
Think about a baseball player in the batter’s box. If all he’s thinking about is, “I gotta get a hit,” he won’t. It’s what’s called the “paradox of the product goal.” What the batter needs to think about are the actions that will get him a hit – tracking the ball, the short swing and the follow-through.
What increases achievement is focusing on the two or three tasks. This can help kids arrive at their goal. Science tells us that focusing on process is what brings results. Here’s another example tied to academic work. Instead of your children’s focusing on getting an A grade, have them focus on reading each question twice, answering all the questions, and reviewing all their answers. For best results, help your children tailor the tasks to their specific needs.
These strategies work for any child with a goal, be is sports or studies. When it comes to achievement, we’re all “players” in our own stadiums, whether it’s an Olympics year or not.
Thank you to all the wonderful Fathers, like my own Daddy and Husband, for all their hard work, support, love, and dedication to their families.
 

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Comments

  1. @MamiRosado says

    June 17, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    Great tips! Happy Father’s Day!

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💚Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay. Special needs families experience mental distress 5 times as often as those without disabilities. 
🧩 Joshua is a child who is autistic and had a new diagnosis of focal seizures last year. Through prayer and medication, he has been great and has not had a seizure in many months! 🙌
💔However, yesterday, we were unceremoniously informed that Joshua had been dismissed from the private special needs school he had attended for almost five years and that his last day of school was today. The only reason was that the school’s leadership did not want to administer the (easy) life-saving emergency seizure rescue medication he needs if a seizure occurs at school. 
💉The medication is an injection that is given in the arm or leg if he has a seizure. To quote the Doctor who showed us how to do it: “This is so simple even a child can do this.”
✏️The school where I have served as President of the Parent Teacher Fellowship for the past two years has seen my family and me dedicate countless hours volunteering over the last five years—not just with our time or sweat equity but also by contributing resources, expertise, monetary support, promoting initiatives, &, most importantly, showing loyalty. 
🙌 As a mother, advocate, and #SpecialNeeds Pastor, we move forward the same way we always have, especially where Joshua is concerned—in total faith. Some things occur that we don’t understand why they are happening at the time or place they did. Only God knows the answer to that. (Deuteronomy 29:29). All we have to do is trust and believe that He knows what is best. He wants us to live a whole and abundant life. (John 10:10). Joshua’s life verse is “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).
What was meant for harm will be turned around for good. This temporary test will be added to our testimony.
Joshua’s life has already been the launchpad and inspiration of @HopeTorchlighters, #BuddyBreak, & others that support #specialneeds families. This sweet boy will continue to thrive & God will continue to use Him! 🙌💙 #TeamJoshua #JoshuasAngels

💚Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay. Special needs families experience mental distress 5 times as often as those without disabilities. 
🧩 Joshua is a child who is autistic and had a new diagnosis of focal seizures last year. Through prayer and medication, he has been great and has not had a seizure in many months! 🙌
💔However, yesterday, we were unceremoniously informed that Joshua had been dismissed from the private special needs school he had attended for almost five years and that his last day of school was today. The only reason was that the school’s leadership did not want to administer the (easy) life-saving emergency seizure rescue medication he needs if a seizure occurs at school. 
💉The medication is an injection that is given in the arm or leg if he has a seizure. To quote the Doctor who showed us how to do it: “This is so simple even a child can do this.”
✏️The school where I have served as President of the Parent Teacher Fellowship for the past two years has seen my family and me dedicate countless hours volunteering over the last five years—not just with our time or sweat equity but also by contributing resources, expertise, monetary support, promoting initiatives, &, most importantly, showing loyalty. 
🙌 As a mother, advocate, and #SpecialNeeds Pastor, we move forward the same way we always have, especially where Joshua is concerned—in total faith. Some things occur that we don’t understand why they are happening at the time or place they did. Only God knows the answer to that. (Deuteronomy 29:29). All we have to do is trust and believe that He knows what is best. He wants us to live a whole and abundant life. (John 10:10). Joshua’s life verse is “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).
What was meant for harm will be turned around for good. This temporary test will be added to our testimony.
Joshua’s life has already been the launchpad and inspiration of @HopeTorchlighters, #BuddyBreak, & others that support #specialneeds families. This sweet boy will continue to thrive & God will continue to use Him! 🙌💙 #TeamJoshua #JoshuasAngels
...

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I thank our beloved Sr. Pastors Dr. @pastortonymccoy & @pastorjodiemccoy for taking the time to honor the Pastoral Team at @hopeinternationalchurch! Serving alongside such a loving group of Pastors committed to God and the community is a true blessing. Through @hopetorchlighters, we've made a difference in the lives of over 4,000 families with special needs and neurodiverse members in Lake County and across the U.S., online since 2018. We offer #BuddyBreak Respite Care, Beacon of Hope Support Group, holiday meals and gifts, educational classes, activities for children and adults, therapy, and more. When I'm not at church on Sunday, I am privileged to share life's moments with these families — from attending a birthday party for a child with a disability to counseling an entire family to understand that a child's diagnosis isn't just the parents' duty but also a family responsibility to love and care for that child. Here's to many more blessings — the best is yet to come! Happy Pastor Support Appreciation Day! #pastor #pastorsappreciation #specialneeds #hopetorchlighters #drjoscelynramoscampbell

I thank our beloved Sr. Pastors Dr. @pastortonymccoy & @pastorjodiemccoy for taking the time to honor the Pastoral Team at @hopeinternationalchurch! Serving alongside such a loving group of Pastors committed to God and the community is a true blessing. Through @hopetorchlighters, we`ve made a difference in the lives of over 4,000 families with special needs and neurodiverse members in Lake County and across the U.S., online since 2018. We offer #BuddyBreak Respite Care, Beacon of Hope Support Group, holiday meals and gifts, educational classes, activities for children and adults, therapy, and more. When I`m not at church on Sunday, I am privileged to share life`s moments with these families — from attending a birthday party for a child with a disability to counseling an entire family to understand that a child`s diagnosis isn`t just the parents` duty but also a family responsibility to love and care for that child. Here`s to many more blessings — the best is yet to come! Happy Pastor Support Appreciation Day! #pastor #pastorsappreciation #specialneeds #hopetorchlighters #drjoscelynramoscampbell ...

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🇨🇺 September 15th to October 15th is National Hispanic American Heritage Month and it was created to help pay “tribute to the generations of Hispanic Americans who have positively influenced and enriched our nation and society.” 
🇵🇷 Learn more about #HHM at ➡️ http://www.mamiofmultiples.com/ways-to-celebrate-national-hispanic-heritage-month-with-children 
#HispanicHeritageMonth
#Latinos
#Hispanics
#Latinx

🇨🇺 September 15th to October 15th is National Hispanic American Heritage Month and it was created to help pay “tribute to the generations of Hispanic Americans who have positively influenced and enriched our nation and society.”
🇵🇷 Learn more about #HHM at ➡️ http://www.mamiofmultiples.com/ways-to-celebrate-national-hispanic-heritage-month-with-children
#HispanicHeritageMonth
#Latinos
#Hispanics
#Latinx
...

10 0

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🇺🇸Dad was a survivor of the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks. Sadly, he is now officially recognized as one of the thousands of victims who passed away (almost 20 years later to the day) due to an aerodigestive illness from the fumes that he breathed that day. I’m sharing his story once again so that we never forget, especially for the younger generations. See in the slides above. ➡️ Let’s always remember the fallen heroes among the first responders, law enforcement, victims, their families, and survivors.

🇺🇸 The loss of lives in wars, battles, and attacks has a lasting impact on history. 9/11 was no exception, with nearly 3,000 people dying in coordinated attacks at the World Trade Center buildings in New York, the Pentagon, and a field in rural Pennsylvania.

🇺🇸In the years since the attack, tens of thousands of first responders, law enforcement, and survivors have died (or become gravely sick) due to cancer or aerodigestive illnesses because of their exposure to noxious gases, dust, and chemicals. More people have died from 9/11-related illnesses than were lost in the initial September 11, 2001  attacks, according to the 20th Anniversary Special Report from the “Never Forget the Heroes” Act and CDC. U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland wrote in the report, “…it is important to acknowledge that the tragedy of that day continues.”

🇺🇸 May we remember and pray for the victims and all those still suffering the effects of 9/11 physically, emotionally, and mentally. May God give everyone the comfort they need. We will never forget and we will remember our fallen heroes, brothers, and sisters today and always. 

🇺🇸 🙏🏼
#NeverForget
#911
#September11
#LetsRoll
#RIPDaddy 
#September11Obituary https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/gotha-fl/jose-ramos-9348730

🇺🇸Dad was a survivor of the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks. Sadly, he is now officially recognized as one of the thousands of victims who passed away (almost 20 years later to the day) due to an aerodigestive illness from the fumes that he breathed that day. I’m sharing his story once again so that we never forget, especially for the younger generations. See in the slides above. ➡️ Let’s always remember the fallen heroes among the first responders, law enforcement, victims, their families, and survivors.

🇺🇸 The loss of lives in wars, battles, and attacks has a lasting impact on history. 9/11 was no exception, with nearly 3,000 people dying in coordinated attacks at the World Trade Center buildings in New York, the Pentagon, and a field in rural Pennsylvania.

🇺🇸In the years since the attack, tens of thousands of first responders, law enforcement, and survivors have died (or become gravely sick) due to cancer or aerodigestive illnesses because of their exposure to noxious gases, dust, and chemicals. More people have died from 9/11-related illnesses than were lost in the initial September 11, 2001  attacks, according to the 20th Anniversary Special Report from the “Never Forget the Heroes” Act and CDC. U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland wrote in the report, “…it is important to acknowledge that the tragedy of that day continues.”

🇺🇸 May we remember and pray for the victims and all those still suffering the effects of 9/11 physically, emotionally, and mentally. May God give everyone the comfort they need. We will never forget and we will remember our fallen heroes, brothers, and sisters today and always. 

🇺🇸 🙏🏼
#NeverForget
#911
#September11
#LetsRoll
#RIPDaddy 
#September11Obituary https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/gotha-fl/jose-ramos-9348730
...

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Sep 6

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Daddy 🕊️ March 11 - September 6 🕊️
🕊️My beloved father (and mother) had extraordinary careers and often appeared on television, in newspapers, and on the radio. My Cuban father’s career began when he was recruited to play professional baseball in the U.S. He later became an international delegate, diplomat, and fair wage contract negotiator. He created opportunities and provided jobs for many people, and their descendants continue to benefit today. 
🕊️On any given day, he could be in the trenches fighting for the rights of shipyard workers to have proper gloves and materials to protect them. That night, he would fly in a jet with Frank Sinatra for a benefit. 
🕊️As Google and SEO continue to digitize legal records, books, and important historical facts, I frequently receive Google Alerts with my mother’s or father’s names. The latest alert came this past week regarding my father and a Senate meeting about the closure of sugar refineries. At that time, 7,000 men and women had lost their jobs due to the decline in exports of refined sugar. My father’s name appeared in Congress and at Georgetown University.
🕊️The dash between the two dates represents a person’s birth and passing. His extraordinary life was remarkable from beginning to end. His generosity and care have touched countless lives.
🕊️He walked the earth with kings, celebrities, and heads of state. Now, he walks with our Almighty King and his beloved Queen, my Mommy.
🕊️Your earthly departure was five years ago, but it still feels like yesterday. This is a testament to your enduring legacy, wisdom, and love. Te amamos para siempre. 🇨🇺 🇺🇸 ♥️
#WeLoveAndMissYouDaddy 
#WeLoveAndMissYouPapa 
#WeWillSeeYouAgain

Daddy 🕊️ March 11 - September 6 🕊️
🕊️My beloved father (and mother) had extraordinary careers and often appeared on television, in newspapers, and on the radio. My Cuban father’s career began when he was recruited to play professional baseball in the U.S. He later became an international delegate, diplomat, and fair wage contract negotiator. He created opportunities and provided jobs for many people, and their descendants continue to benefit today.
🕊️On any given day, he could be in the trenches fighting for the rights of shipyard workers to have proper gloves and materials to protect them. That night, he would fly in a jet with Frank Sinatra for a benefit.
🕊️As Google and SEO continue to digitize legal records, books, and important historical facts, I frequently receive Google Alerts with my mother’s or father’s names. The latest alert came this past week regarding my father and a Senate meeting about the closure of sugar refineries. At that time, 7,000 men and women had lost their jobs due to the decline in exports of refined sugar. My father’s name appeared in Congress and at Georgetown University.
🕊️The dash between the two dates represents a person’s birth and passing. His extraordinary life was remarkable from beginning to end. His generosity and care have touched countless lives.
🕊️He walked the earth with kings, celebrities, and heads of state. Now, he walks with our Almighty King and his beloved Queen, my Mommy.
🕊️Your earthly departure was five years ago, but it still feels like yesterday. This is a testament to your enduring legacy, wisdom, and love. Te amamos para siempre. 🇨🇺 🇺🇸 ♥️
#WeLoveAndMissYouDaddy
#WeLoveAndMissYouPapa
#WeWillSeeYouAgain
...

102 0

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Sep 4

Open post by drjoscelynramoscampbell with ID 18007358999628016
✏️ Another great day at @hopepreparatoryacademy (HPA)! 
✏️ #FunFacts: In just one branch of my family tree, there are over 107 years of combined experience as professors, heads of schools, principals, administrators, and educators in both private and public schools and universities. 
✏️ The power of education is a foundational truth, as is the path to achieving it. It is unique and different for everyone; so why should learning be the same for all? Students are facing ever-changing technologies, proactive initiatives, competency mapping, career lattices, and more. 
✏️ I feel blessed that #HPA is mission-driven and is preparing all students for a real-world approach to college, trade school, or the military. Our dynamic duo has been dual-enrolled at HPA and Lake Sumter State College (LSSC), which is a University of Central Florida Direct Connect campus. They were inducted into the National Honor Society and LSSC’s National Society of Leadership and Success, the largest collegiate leadership honor society in the United States. Being at HPA has allowed them to advance their high school classes and start college early. It has also given them the time to pursue civil and community affairs, volunteerism, and personal projects they are passionate about—all while receiving individualized attention from certified teachers in small classroom sizes. 
✏️ Given our educational family history and having worked in schools ourselves, we could have gone anywhere, but we feel very glad to have the best options right in our own backyard! 
✏️ Speaking of one of the BEST… one of the BEST teachers… a 2022 Rookie Teacher of the Year… Mrs. Shari Bell is teaching Kindergarten at HPA! If you have a Kindergartener or know someone who will be starting soon, don’t walk—RUN 🏃 to get your child in her class! She is AMAZING! 
#collegeprep #christianeducation #CollegeReadiness

✏️ Another great day at @hopepreparatoryacademy (HPA)!
✏️ #FunFacts: In just one branch of my family tree, there are over 107 years of combined experience as professors, heads of schools, principals, administrators, and educators in both private and public schools and universities.
✏️ The power of education is a foundational truth, as is the path to achieving it. It is unique and different for everyone; so why should learning be the same for all? Students are facing ever-changing technologies, proactive initiatives, competency mapping, career lattices, and more.
✏️ I feel blessed that #HPA is mission-driven and is preparing all students for a real-world approach to college, trade school, or the military. Our dynamic duo has been dual-enrolled at HPA and Lake Sumter State College (LSSC), which is a University of Central Florida Direct Connect campus. They were inducted into the National Honor Society and LSSC’s National Society of Leadership and Success, the largest collegiate leadership honor society in the United States. Being at HPA has allowed them to advance their high school classes and start college early. It has also given them the time to pursue civil and community affairs, volunteerism, and personal projects they are passionate about—all while receiving individualized attention from certified teachers in small classroom sizes.
✏️ Given our educational family history and having worked in schools ourselves, we could have gone anywhere, but we feel very glad to have the best options right in our own backyard!
✏️ Speaking of one of the BEST… one of the BEST teachers… a 2022 Rookie Teacher of the Year… Mrs. Shari Bell is teaching Kindergarten at HPA! If you have a Kindergartener or know someone who will be starting soon, don’t walk—RUN 🏃 to get your child in her class! She is AMAZING!
#collegeprep #christianeducation #CollegeReadiness
...

107 0
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