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The Best Father’s Day Gift: How Dads Can Get Their Kids to Focus {Guest Post by Dr. @Jason_Selk}

in families, holidays, parenting on 06/17/12

The following is a guest Father’s Day post by Dr. Jason Selk, the Director of Mental Training for the St Louis Cardinals.  Jason Selk, Ed.D., trains companies and organizations – including the world’s finest athletes, coaches, and business leaders – on how to achieve optimal performance. He’s the bestselling author of 10-Minute Toughness (McGraw-Hill, 2008) and Executive Toughness (McGraw-Hill, 2011). He’s a regular television and radio contributor to ABC, CBS, ESPN, and NBC. He’s also been featured in USA Today, Men’s Health, Muscle and Fitness, Shape and Self. Check out his website at www.enhancedperformanceinc.com.  Follow Dr. Jason Selk on Twitter at Jason_Selk.

What father doesn’t want his offspring to develop the right kinds of skills so that one day they’ll rise to the top of whatever profession or field they choose? The good news is, with the right training, there’s one key talent that just about every child can master. And it just happens to be the one that highly successful people can call up at any given moment. It’s called focus.
Okay, I imagine that right now most dads reading this piece of advice are rolling their eyes. Kids are already overscheduled and parents are competing with play dates, the internet and digital toys for quality time. How will they squeeze it in?
But focus exercises are something you can do during any spare moments you have, such as when you’re all on the way to playing sports. And tying these mental exercises into this summer’s London Olympics is a perfect way to reinforce how focus can help generate great performances in the spotlight. That’s because many Olympic athletes use these same methods to mentally prepare for their events.  Here’s why being able to focus at will is so important.
Focus helps counteract pressure.
When children aren’t athletic stars, they’re more likely to play simply for fun or the for the experience of being on a team. These are valuable reasons in and of themselves. However, once children have gotten some accolades about their playing ability, or may have won trophies, suddenly all eyes are on them. There’s more pressure. The coach and weaker members of the team are now counting on the better players.
It pays to remember that Olympians who’ve previously won a medal or two face way more pressure in their future competitions. The competing players want to go after the ones who’ve been victorious. And suddenly medal winners can’t rest on their laurels because they have new expectations to live up to.
Here are two quick exercises to help your children concentrate better. They take such little time that you can easily fit them in prior to sports practice.
The 100-second mental workout.
1. Center your breath. Breathe in for six counts, hold for two, and exhale for seven. An elevated heart rate, which goes hand-in-hand with pressure, results in the mind working less than optimally. This breath work slows down the heart rate, which counters the pressure.
2. Create an identity statement. Even youngsters can come up with meaningful ones, such as “I’m the best hardest worker on our team,” or “I’m always successful at blocking soccer goals.”
3. Create a personal highlight reel. This exercise involves just 60 seconds of visualization. First focus on three things done well within the past 24 hours, such as completing homework in a timely manner or making a solid play on the field. Then focus on three things you plan to do well within the next 24 hours. That’s only 10 seconds apiece.
4. Repeat step 2.
5. Repeat step 1.
These 100 seconds are a superb way to help your children decrease pressure and mentally prepare for their games through better focus.
Begin to define your success with the process, not the result.
           
Think about a baseball player in the batter’s box. If all he’s thinking about is, “I gotta get a hit,” he won’t. It’s what’s called the “paradox of the product goal.” What the batter needs to think about are the actions that will get him a hit – tracking the ball, the short swing and the follow-through.
What increases achievement is focusing on the two or three tasks. This can help kids arrive at their goal. Science tells us that focusing on process is what brings results. Here’s another example tied to academic work. Instead of your children’s focusing on getting an A grade, have them focus on reading each question twice, answering all the questions, and reviewing all their answers. For best results, help your children tailor the tasks to their specific needs.
These strategies work for any child with a goal, be is sports or studies. When it comes to achievement, we’re all “players” in our own stadiums, whether it’s an Olympics year or not.
Thank you to all the wonderful Fathers, like my own Daddy and Husband, for all their hard work, support, love, and dedication to their families.
 

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Comments

  1. @MamiRosado says

    June 17, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    Great tips! Happy Father’s Day!

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Sep 11

Open post by drjoscelynramoscampbell with ID 18024691334699209
🇺🇸 My Father Survived 9/11—But 9/11 Ultimately Took His Life.

🇺🇸 Twenty-five years ago, my father, José Quintero Ramos, was on the 19th floor of the South Tower when the North Tower was struck. Dad had survived the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and knew something was wrong. He insisted his secretaries and coworkers leave. Holding hands, they formed a human chain and began descending the stairs.

🇺🇸 Then the second plane struck their tower.

🇺🇸 The lights went dark. Smoke, ash, and debris filled the hot stairwell. Dad gave others the handkerchiefs he always carried so they could breathe, leaving only his arm to cover his own face.

🇺🇸 As firefighters and first responders climbed upward, Dad thanked them and squeezed their shoulders. One young firefighter rested his face in Dad’s hand—like a son receiving a father’s blessing. Dad never saw him again.

🇺🇸 Dad and his coworkers escaped and crossed the street only moments before the South Tower collapsed at 9:59 a.m. Those with him later said they would not have survived without his insistence. His courage saved lives.

🇺🇸 For more than ten hours, we did not know whether he was alive.

🇺🇸 Covered in ash, blood, and cuts, he walked for hours across the Brooklyn Bridge to the Cathedral Basilica of St. James, where I was baptized. A priest wiped his face, embraced him, and prayed.

🇺🇸 Our family was blessed with nearly 19 more years—but Dad was never the same. He ultimately died from respiratory failure caused by the toxic air he breathed that day. He is now officially recognized as a 9/11 victim.

🇺🇸 On this 25th anniversary, I remain honor-bound as his daughter to tell his story—especially as 9/11 moves from living memory into history.

🇺🇸 9/11 did not end on September 11, 2001. Its toll continues whenever another survivor or responder dies from a related illness.

🇺🇸 May we remember those lost that day, those lost in the years since, and everyone still suffering.

🇺🇸 Daddy, your courage lives on. We will never forget. 🤍🕊️

🔗 https://bit.ly/JoseQRamos

#JoseQuinteroRamos #NeverForget #September11 #RIPDaddy

🇺🇸 My Father Survived 9/11—But 9/11 Ultimately Took His Life.

🇺🇸 Twenty-five years ago, my father, José Quintero Ramos, was on the 19th floor of the South Tower when the North Tower was struck. Dad had survived the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and knew something was wrong. He insisted his secretaries and coworkers leave. Holding hands, they formed a human chain and began descending the stairs.

🇺🇸 Then the second plane struck their tower.

🇺🇸 The lights went dark. Smoke, ash, and debris filled the hot stairwell. Dad gave others the handkerchiefs he always carried so they could breathe, leaving only his arm to cover his own face.

🇺🇸 As firefighters and first responders climbed upward, Dad thanked them and squeezed their shoulders. One young firefighter rested his face in Dad’s hand—like a son receiving a father’s blessing. Dad never saw him again.

🇺🇸 Dad and his coworkers escaped and crossed the street only moments before the South Tower collapsed at 9:59 a.m. Those with him later said they would not have survived without his insistence. His courage saved lives.

🇺🇸 For more than ten hours, we did not know whether he was alive.

🇺🇸 Covered in ash, blood, and cuts, he walked for hours across the Brooklyn Bridge to the Cathedral Basilica of St. James, where I was baptized. A priest wiped his face, embraced him, and prayed.

🇺🇸 Our family was blessed with nearly 19 more years—but Dad was never the same. He ultimately died from respiratory failure caused by the toxic air he breathed that day. He is now officially recognized as a 9/11 victim.

🇺🇸 On this 25th anniversary, I remain honor-bound as his daughter to tell his story—especially as 9/11 moves from living memory into history.

🇺🇸 9/11 did not end on September 11, 2001. Its toll continues whenever another survivor or responder dies from a related illness.

🇺🇸 May we remember those lost that day, those lost in the years since, and everyone still suffering.

🇺🇸 Daddy, your courage lives on. We will never forget. 🤍🕊️

🔗 https://bit.ly/JoseQRamos

#JoseQuinteroRamos #NeverForget #September11 #RIPDaddy
...

195 5

drjoscelynramoscampbell

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Sep 10

Open post by drjoscelynramoscampbell with ID 18137137450720512
🗽 🇺🇸 Daddy, I’ve returned to our home state to represent you at both private and public official 25th anniversary September 11th remembrance events in New York. 
🗽 🇺🇸 Your little girl is traveling solo, but safeguarded at each event by a private security team that has been prearranged for me—just another example of God’s favor and how our (good) reputation has preceded us. 
🗽 🇺🇸 It’s a reaffirmation of your protection over me still and a nostalgic reflection of the times when we all traveled together during our careers. 
🗽 🇺🇸 It is my honor to continue being your daughter and to carry the legacy. 🤍🕊️
#NeverForgot #NewYork #MyHome #WorldTradeCenter #newyorkcitygirl

🗽 🇺🇸 Daddy, I’ve returned to our home state to represent you at both private and public official 25th anniversary September 11th remembrance events in New York.
🗽 🇺🇸 Your little girl is traveling solo, but safeguarded at each event by a private security team that has been prearranged for me—just another example of God’s favor and how our (good) reputation has preceded us.
🗽 🇺🇸 It’s a reaffirmation of your protection over me still and a nostalgic reflection of the times when we all traveled together during our careers.
🗽 🇺🇸 It is my honor to continue being your daughter and to carry the legacy. 🤍🕊️
#NeverForgot #NewYork #MyHome #WorldTradeCenter #newyorkcitygirl
...

65 0

drjoscelynramoscampbell

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Sep 6

Open post by drjoscelynramoscampbell with ID 18077096033378549
🤍 🇨🇺 🇺🇸 🕊️ Grief and Daddy’s Little Girl.

Daddy, six years ago today, you entered eternity. Your courage on 9/11 helped others survive but ultimately cost you your life. You are now officially recognized among its victims.

Mommy passed in January. Nine months later came my MS diagnosis. A year later, on September 6, I lost you—five days before 9/11. Oh, September. We used to be friends because of fall and all things pumpkin. Not anymore.

This photo takes me back outside St. Patrick’s Cathedral. You were about to speak beside Rev. Jesse Jackson at a rally for 7,000 workers displaced by sugar refinery closures. I was seven. You handed me the mic, and I joked that kids loved sugar, families needed jobs, and we had to “keep hope alive.” I only wanted to make you proud—and get the steak sandwich and ice cream you’d promised near the World Trade Center.

Grief doesn’t take a holiday. “The death of a beloved is an amputation.” —C.S. Lewis

My parents taught me to serve and bloom where God planted me. Joshua’s special-needs diagnosis turned my grief into advocacy and a nonprofit for families. Service is our legacy and biblical calling.

But the Church must do better after loss—not only at funerals, but through the months, years, birthdays, and anniversaries. Grief is lifelong, not a race. Heaven doesn’t erase how deeply we miss their presence. Shepherding means calling, listening, and showing up so no one feels invisible or alone.

To those touched by how I honor my parents, thank you. To anyone grieving a loved one, disability, or special-needs parenting: I see you. You’re not alone. Jeremiah 29:11.

To the sweet mama in the UK: throw the plates if you need to. Jesus wept. Jesus got angry. He understands. Call me.

I know Mommy and Daddy are proud, yet my heart and soul are heavy. As the 25th anniversary of 9/11 approaches, I’ll go to NYC alone to honor Daddy.

Te amamos para siempre. 🤍

P.S. If anyone hears the rapture trumpets while I’m gone, tell God I have a VIP Express ticket—and I don’t mind pushing a few people out of the way. 🥹😇😂

#WeLoveAndMissYouDaddy #WeLoveAndMissYouPapa #WeWillSeeYouAgain

🤍 🇨🇺 🇺🇸 🕊️ Grief and Daddy’s Little Girl.

Daddy, six years ago today, you entered eternity. Your courage on 9/11 helped others survive but ultimately cost you your life. You are now officially recognized among its victims.

Mommy passed in January. Nine months later came my MS diagnosis. A year later, on September 6, I lost you—five days before 9/11. Oh, September. We used to be friends because of fall and all things pumpkin. Not anymore.

This photo takes me back outside St. Patrick’s Cathedral. You were about to speak beside Rev. Jesse Jackson at a rally for 7,000 workers displaced by sugar refinery closures. I was seven. You handed me the mic, and I joked that kids loved sugar, families needed jobs, and we had to “keep hope alive.” I only wanted to make you proud—and get the steak sandwich and ice cream you’d promised near the World Trade Center.

Grief doesn’t take a holiday. “The death of a beloved is an amputation.” —C.S. Lewis

My parents taught me to serve and bloom where God planted me. Joshua’s special-needs diagnosis turned my grief into advocacy and a nonprofit for families. Service is our legacy and biblical calling.

But the Church must do better after loss—not only at funerals, but through the months, years, birthdays, and anniversaries. Grief is lifelong, not a race. Heaven doesn’t erase how deeply we miss their presence. Shepherding means calling, listening, and showing up so no one feels invisible or alone.

To those touched by how I honor my parents, thank you. To anyone grieving a loved one, disability, or special-needs parenting: I see you. You’re not alone. Jeremiah 29:11.

To the sweet mama in the UK: throw the plates if you need to. Jesus wept. Jesus got angry. He understands. Call me.

I know Mommy and Daddy are proud, yet my heart and soul are heavy. As the 25th anniversary of 9/11 approaches, I’ll go to NYC alone to honor Daddy.

Te amamos para siempre. 🤍

P.S. If anyone hears the rapture trumpets while I’m gone, tell God I have a VIP Express ticket—and I don’t mind pushing a few people out of the way. 🥹😇😂

#WeLoveAndMissYouDaddy #WeLoveAndMissYouPapa #WeWillSeeYouAgain
...

122 0

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Aug 9

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👩🏻‍🏫 Friday was Open House and Meet the Teacher for our superhero, Joshua. He will be in a new school, with new teachers, and a completely different environment. So much prayer, effort, hard work, tears, advocacy, strength, and God’s continued faithfulness have brought us to this appointed time at @thedreamacademyfl. 
👩🏻‍🏫 Friday was also the day we met someone we had never met before: Mr. Joshua “Romance Casanova” Campbell. He is self-taught, and we believe his ancestral DNA—Cuban, Puerto Rican, Spaniard, and Italian—is what caused this to emerge. 🤣♥️ 
👩🏻‍🏫 It was the laugh God knew we needed. 
👩🏻‍🏫 Last year, on October 11, #WorldMentalHealthDay, I posted the following words: “What was meant for harm will be turned around for good. This temporary test will be added to our testimony. As a mother, advocate, and #SpecialNeeds Pastor, we move forward the same way we always have, especially where Joshua is concerned—in total faith. Some things happen that we don’t understand why they are happening at the time or place they did. Only God knows the answer to that. (Deuteronomy 29:29). All we have to do is trust and believe that He knows what is best. He wants us to live a whole and abundant life. (John 10:10). Joshua’s life verse is “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). His life has already been the launchpad and inspiration of @hopetorchlighters and Hope Buddy Break, which has supported and empowered many VIP families since 2018. This sweet boy will continue to thrive, and God will continue to use Him!” 
👩🏻‍🏫 If Friday was any indication, then we prayerfully believe he will have a blessed and happy school year. He truly deserves it! Thankful for all the teachers, staff, and therapists, and covering them and their homes in prayer for this new school year. 🙏💙 #TeamJoshua #JoshuaAngels #thedreamacademyfl

👩🏻‍🏫 Friday was Open House and Meet the Teacher for our superhero, Joshua. He will be in a new school, with new teachers, and a completely different environment. So much prayer, effort, hard work, tears, advocacy, strength, and God’s continued faithfulness have brought us to this appointed time at @thedreamacademyfl.
👩🏻‍🏫 Friday was also the day we met someone we had never met before: Mr. Joshua “Romance Casanova” Campbell. He is self-taught, and we believe his ancestral DNA—Cuban, Puerto Rican, Spaniard, and Italian—is what caused this to emerge. 🤣♥️
👩🏻‍🏫 It was the laugh God knew we needed.
👩🏻‍🏫 Last year, on October 11, #WorldMentalHealthDay, I posted the following words: “What was meant for harm will be turned around for good. This temporary test will be added to our testimony. As a mother, advocate, and #SpecialNeeds Pastor, we move forward the same way we always have, especially where Joshua is concerned—in total faith. Some things happen that we don’t understand why they are happening at the time or place they did. Only God knows the answer to that. (Deuteronomy 29:29). All we have to do is trust and believe that He knows what is best. He wants us to live a whole and abundant life. (John 10:10). Joshua’s life verse is “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). His life has already been the launchpad and inspiration of @hopetorchlighters and Hope Buddy Break, which has supported and empowered many VIP families since 2018. This sweet boy will continue to thrive, and God will continue to use Him!”
👩🏻‍🏫 If Friday was any indication, then we prayerfully believe he will have a blessed and happy school year. He truly deserves it! Thankful for all the teachers, staff, and therapists, and covering them and their homes in prayer for this new school year. 🙏💙 #TeamJoshua #JoshuaAngels #thedreamacademyfl
...

91 0

drjoscelynramoscampbell

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Jul 28

Open post by drjoscelynramoscampbell with ID 18012861638867297
#repost @hopetorchlighters
・・・
✏️ Thank you to so many of our wonderful VIP families for again attending the @cityofgroveland Back 2 School Backpack Bash this past weekend with @drjoscelynramoscampbell! 

✏️ As always, we are so proud of all of our families! It is an honor to support, advocate, and walk this journey alongside each of you daily. 

✏️ We will be posting the upcoming events and programs (and new website launch) shortly.

✏️ Stay tuned and follow the @hopetorchlighters on Facebook and Instagram
📲 Text/Call: (352) 405-6163. 
💻 Private Facebook Group for Parents & Caregivers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeinternationalvipparentsgroup/

#backtoschool #hopetorchlighters #specialneedsparenting @cityofgrovelandparks

#repost @hopetorchlighters
・・・
✏️ Thank you to so many of our wonderful VIP families for again attending the @cityofgroveland Back 2 School Backpack Bash this past weekend with @drjoscelynramoscampbell!

✏️ As always, we are so proud of all of our families! It is an honor to support, advocate, and walk this journey alongside each of you daily.

✏️ We will be posting the upcoming events and programs (and new website launch) shortly.

✏️ Stay tuned and follow the @hopetorchlighters on Facebook and Instagram
📲 Text/Call: (352) 405-6163.
💻 Private Facebook Group for Parents & Caregivers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeinternationalvipparentsgroup/

#backtoschool #hopetorchlighters #specialneedsparenting @cityofgrovelandparks
...

4 0

drjoscelynramoscampbell

View Instagram post by drjoscelynramoscampbell

Jul 23

Open post by drjoscelynramoscampbell with ID 17886297717607424
The journey of being a parent and caregiver to a VIP child or adult with medical or neurodiverse needs is unlike any other. It can be a daily battle across states (and countries) to find quality care and services that are needed for their proper development. It's why one of our goals at @hopetorchlighters torchlighters for the past 8 years has been to continue sharing resources and providers that are not only “insurance approved” but also “VIP approved”. Our superhero has been blessed with wonderful occupational therapists throughout his journey. Among them is First Steps Therapy @firststeptllc in Leesburg, and we are grateful to Ms. Sarah, Ms. Denise, and to be reunited with Ms. Dee again. 🙌 #OT #autism #specialneedsparenting #hopetorchlighters

The journey of being a parent and caregiver to a VIP child or adult with medical or neurodiverse needs is unlike any other. It can be a daily battle across states (and countries) to find quality care and services that are needed for their proper development. It`s why one of our goals at @hopetorchlighters torchlighters for the past 8 years has been to continue sharing resources and providers that are not only “insurance approved” but also “VIP approved”. Our superhero has been blessed with wonderful occupational therapists throughout his journey. Among them is First Steps Therapy @firststeptllc in Leesburg, and we are grateful to Ms. Sarah, Ms. Denise, and to be reunited with Ms. Dee again. 🙌 #OT #autism #specialneedsparenting #hopetorchlighters ...

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