The following is a nugget of truth that was posted in a Executive Moms group about finding time to do things we really want to do. The author, Jamee Tenzer, is a professional certified life and career coach for working mothers and women in the entertainment industry. As mothers, spouses, career women, work from home moms, or stay at home moms, we are constantly trying to balance our personal and professional lives. Its important to remember not to lose ourselves in our domestic and professional roles. Before we had the titles of mother, wife, career professional…we were simply us…our first and last names. We had likes, dislikes, wants, desires, needs, thoughts, feelings, and those are still part of our genetic makeup. Our last names may changed and we may have others depending on us on everyday, but we are still us. Whatever is that brings enrichment, growth, and personal joy into our lives, we should continue pursuing it. Making time to develop as a human being will only help us to be the best possible version of us we can be.
Complete this sentence; I would love to do more “X,” but I just don’t have the time. This is a favorite of the working mom. We are after all, busy and sometimes over-scheduled. And, we perceive ourselves to have time for certain activities while having to put other pursuits on the back burner. And at the rate we are going that back burner isn’t getting turned on until we’re pushing 80.
Case in point; one of my clients decided a few years ago that she has no time to read. I am always curious about the decisions that people make in life and since this is a source of disappointment for her, I asked her about the decision. I learned that she had gathered very impressive evidence to back her argument including; with a job and two children she’s too tired to read, a book takes so long to get through at her very slow rate it’s not worth it and if she’s going to be reading, she feels she should be reading something that is useful for her profession. This sounds pretty convincing, don’t you think?
But, how much of this is perception? Are all of her reasons actually true? Or were they true when she made the decision, but now out of date? I asked her to imagine that she had never made that decision about reading. I asked her to throw out her reasons and start fresh. The first thing that happened was she realized she didn’t have a book that she was excited about reading, so she went to her local library with her children and found a fun, sexy novel that looked entertaining and (dare I say?) enjoyable.
The children found books too and then went to the next door café for cookies, juice and coffee. 30 minutes later she was 20 pages into her book and hooked. Within 2 weeks, they were back to the library for more.
So what happened here? Her life circumstances didn’t change at all, but she suddenly was inspired to make time for reading. Instead of telling herself there was not time, she shifted her perspective and let go of an old decision. All of a sudden, an opportunity arose and she took it. It’s kind of like magic, but you and I can create this kind of anytime.
Jamee
jameetenzer.com
